An article I’ve written for my beloved Hecklerspray.

One of the more notable, or should we say biggest bloody deals of life ever of tonight’s Brits, is the British Critics’ Choice Awards. Otherwise who the hell else are we going to fawn over for the next 8-10 months?

The pop equivalent of Bambi’s surrogate mother and all round Robin Williams Pixar voice impersonator Lana Del Rey?

HELLO. This article below is a work in progress. I want to pitch it to someone flipping marvellous once I get lots of cyberpsychology (YEAH IT’S A THING, WIKI IT, YOU MONSTER.) humdrum sort of wank into it, but for the time being it remains like the following. Please could you all look at it and tell me how it’s doing? It’s still in the gestation period but I think it might have grown a couple of fingernails.

..

Well that was utterly disgusting, wasn’t it? 

Anyhow::

5 things that would change if we acted in real life as we do on Twitter
(And one that would remain exactly the same.)

 

So then – Bloody Twitter dot bloody com, eh? What a ride that’s been over the past couple of years. All the anarchic abuse and all those ambitious forays with hashtags, and dreadful anarchic abuse, and that time it didn’t load on the internet, but it did on our smartphones, so we just clicked on there instead. Not to mention all that lovely anarchic abuse! 

It gets a girl to wondering. Since its dawning age way back when in 2006, when Ashton Kutcher was… Well, we were going to say ‘not as achingly prevalent in our collective subconscious’ but that would make us well-wishers, and then people would throw stones at us for being guppie granola lesbians. Again. Anyhow, way back when in 2006, to present day February 2012. What have these past five years or so done to our very very Ashton Kutcher-manned brains? Has it subconsciously changed us? What if the way we acted in the world was a little bit more parallel to how we act on Twitter? IN FACT SCREW THAT LOL – WHAT IF THE WORLD*WAS* TWITTER? Ah see, I have hooked you now. 

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